The Smile

It is the smile with which we assure one another, “We are in this together.  You are not alone.  You are of value and worth.”

I cried at the zoo.

A couple weeks ago, I found myself riding the train through the St. Louis Zoo.  There were so many people waving and smiling at me, and I waved and smiled back until all of a sudden, I became overwhelmed with emotion.

I suddenly realized that after over a year of not seeing and sharing smiles, this felt surreal.  It seemed to me that no one waved or smiled before with such enthusiasm, genuineness, and warmth.  It also seemed that there were more people who stopped to smile than there would have before the pandemic.  Sure, there were kids waving, and parents with their kids.  But there were also adults of all ages without children who stopped and waved-shiny, happy, beautiful smiling people.

I do believe that after all the emotion of this past year, their faces bore more emotion, and I know mine did.  And perhaps I was also more attentive to and appreciative of the warmth in a smile, after so long with only the wrinkles around the eyes to bring to mind the image of a lit-up face. 

The smile.  Why does this make me so emotional?  A smile communicates so much.  A smile lifts our own moods and when shared, it lifts others’ up and encourages them.  It is a way of reaching others, and at a time when we needed to do that the most, we were without the smile that says to the stranger, “I see you.  You matter.  I wish you only the best.  I am thinking good thoughts of you.  God loves you.”  It is the smile with which we assure one another, “We are in this together.  You are not alone.  You are of value and worth.” 

Earlier in the pandemic, I had intended to write to encourage others to smile even under their masks, so we can at least have the eye wrinkles and the playful light in the eyes-have you noticed how the light dances?  This last year the smiling eyes have also taken on increased significance.  I never before realized how much light is in the eyes when we smile, and just how powerfully that light alters the entire mood of a room. 

And there on the train in the zoo, I saw so many people with those smiling eyes and those smiling mouths all at once waving to me, and I was overcome with emotion.

Shortly after my grandma passed in 2018, I had a dream in which she smiled and laughed as she said to me, “Well, I’m not dead!  I guess I don’t do this dead thing very well.” A few months later, I saw four gold candlesticks that were arranged in a semi-circle like the shape of a smile.  I felt like my grandma was saying, “Every time we smile, it shows others a glimpse of this large semi-circle of gold candlesticks that light up heaven, reflecting the Lord’s joy and beauty.  Keep smiling.” 

This year has certainly been full of profound trauma, grief, and loss.  This year has also brought to the forefront the necessity of connection.  We cherish our family, friends, pets, homes, work, and health more than perhaps ever before.  And I know that now I will never the smile as anything less than the light, love, and joy of God shining through us.

P.S. I also found a poem I wrote during the summer I turned 19.  That summer, I was saving money for college working at my home town’s General Motors factory on the frame line of the chassis department.  It was hot, repetitive, heavy, and tiring work, but I always tried to encourage others with a smile.  I hope you enjoy:

A smile is my strength

Jobs call

Jigs fall

Washers fly

As we sigh

Nuts flip

Bolts slip

Plates slide

Patience died

Then, a smile

In my trial

Shines so bright,

I’ll be alright

Yes, I’ll be fine

On this line

For a smile is my strength